My Transformation from Victim to Goddess.

I believed to be successful in life I had to work very hard to get ahead. To do so I analyzed everything, was always busy, often tried to make things go my way, and was always in a hurry. My life was exhausting, and most times overwhelming, but I thought I was doing what I needed to do to achieve my dreams. My life looked great from the outside. I had my Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology, was working as a Mental Health Counselor, perusing post graduate studies, and owned my own home.

Looking back, I realize how out of balance, unhealthy, and fear-driven my life was. It didn't matter how hard I worked, how much I attempted to solve my problems with my head, or how hard I pushed. Ultimately, I was not succeeding. It seems so clear now: I was dissatisfied, reactive, overweight, and disconnected from my feelings. I was so focused on my career my love life had practically dried up.

My boyfriend and I broke up - there I was, depressed and crying all the time. I found myself reacting to my feelings and made myself feel even worse. I didn't understand what was going on but I knew my suffering was out of proportion to the break up. I also knew there was no way I was going to stay in that awful emotional place.

As it happened, the 2006 Mind, Body, Spirit Expo was that weekend and I had planned to go. That morning, I had just finalized the breakup. I just wanted to stay home and curl up in a ball. I had a gut feeling though there was a particular talk I needed to attend. The drive there left me anxious because I arrived a few minutes late but there was that feeling in my solar plexus pulling me towards the room. I quietly went in, still unsure of what to expect.

Almost immediately after the presentation began I knew I needed to schedule a coaching appointment with the speaker. Never mind that she was a complete stranger to me - I knew I needed her help - it was totally intuitive, and ended up being totally right. I now know that my higher self, the wisest part of me, was looking out for me that day. I just had a knowing and I followed it.

The next week, I had my first session with my new Transformational Life Coach. After my session, the crying stopped and I felt like I had opened my eyes for the very first time. I felt I could breathe again. I knew I wasn't "cured" or "transformed" at that point, but I was able to let go of my emotional pain and start looking at my life in a new way. Over time, I learned a great deal about myself. I learned I had a need to stay busy and I used it as a way to distract myself and feel safe. Each week I began to transform.

*I became more calm, more grounded, less reactive, and more at peace with myself.

*I started recognizing my feelings and learned to process my emotions instead of stuffing them.

*I faced some bad financial investments I had made and restored my financial health.

*I realized I had been using my masculine energy to live my life. I allowed my femininity to become more balanced with the masculine, stopped trying to get approval from others and became more authentic.

*I brought my life more into alignment with who I really am, living my truth, making wiser decisions for myself.

*I began to attract healthier relationships, and develop deeper, supportive friendships.

*I lost 50 pounds gained by protecting myself through stuffing my feelings with food that I never thought I could lose.

*My clarity, confidence and happiness grew and I started living an inspired, rather than a forced life.

In October of 2009, my intuition pulled me into moving from the West Coast to just outside of NYC. I had always loved Oregon and had lived there all of my life. I never imagined moving before, let alone across the country. My ability to hear my intuition strengthened over the past few years and my intuition was very specific in this case. I had sign after sign that all pointed East. December, during meditation, I got the message I was to move by January 31st. You can only imagine my disbelief and the anxiety that followed as I wondered how I would leave all my friends and family in Oregon. I didn't know anything about the area except for a solo adventure trip I had taken to Manhattan 5 years earlier. I will admit, during some points I felt like I was going crazy. What the hell was I doing? Uprooting only to replant myself into the complete unknown, my mind was telling me one thing, and my intuition another. I had my coach on the phone a few times a week to help me work it out.

Over the next two months I made all the arrangements about my home and belongings, rented an apartment sight unseen, packed up my two large dogs in my SUV and made the drive.

After settling in, I quickly began going to social networking groups, meeting a lot of people and learning the nuances between the west and east coasts. The inner promptings of my intuition had subsided and somehow I knew, even though I felt like a fish out of water, that I was exactly where I was suppose to be.

Having been here for a year, almost to the day, I can still say with confidence it was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

My journey is far from over. I know that this will last the rest of my life. But now that I have learned to process through my emotions and lead with my feminine power, I find myself attracting success with less effort than ever before. All that fear, anxiety and emotional pain, I now allow it to flow through me and not hold me back.

I have claimed my potential: I am blessed and happy no matter what is happening around me. My understanding is everthing happens for a reason, and even though I don't always recognize the benefit in the moment I have learned to trust, allow and be grateful. I hope to inspire you to take your own journey, and I'll be here along the way.

Love yourself.

Your Friend,

Angela

The Goddess

xoxo